How Family Shapes Our Eating Habits: Breaking the Cycle with Mindful Eating

Let's face it — what we experienced and saw as children was our first reality. Whether food was absent or abundant, whether we were loved or neglected, those early experiences shaped our relationship with eating. But when it comes to food addiction, it doesn’t matter whether someone was raised in a loving or neglectful home — anyone can turn to food for comfort or survival.

I have met people who struggled with food because they were forced to fend for themselves as kids. They would binge eat when food was available because they never knew when the next meal would come.

I have also met people who struggled because dinner time was the only happy moment in their family life. Others simply clung to and repeated the habits they saw their parents follow when it came to food.

In my own life, I saw this play out. My mom never understood why my dad was so thin. I shared her confusion until I discovered mindful eating and recalled a story she once told me about my grandmother and my sister. Sometimes, my dad’s parents would pick my sister up from school, and my Nana would say to my mom, “I ate your daughter’s afternoon snack. She didn’t want it, and I forgot that I was hungry, so I ate it for her.”

This was a lightbulb moment for me. This is why my father has always remained thin — his focus has never been on food. It was always elsewhere: business, family, golf... He adopted his mother's example. And my Nana was a very frail, thin woman.

My mom’s upbringing was different. She often shared how her mother feared her being too skinny. In her mind, a fat baby was a healthy baby. Yet my mom, even as a small child, was never chubby — she was always very thin. My grandmother constantly encouraged her to eat more and would be vocal if she felt a child wasn’t big enough.

Although my mom was born in Cuba, she was mostly raised in the United States, and she eventually battled both the American diet culture and her upbringing. A thought that still rings in her mind is: Food is necessary. Which would lead one to struggle with overeating.

I came out more like my mom when it came to food. My whole life, I struggled with weight gain — but much of it stemmed from how I was raised. I was afraid to NOT eat. What was interesting, though, was that physically, I resembled my dad’s side of the family more. I had strong shoulders, a tall, athletic frame — and I always felt like I was meant to look more like them.

Even though I had inherited a deeply unhealthy mindset about food, something deep down told me there was another way. It was just a matter of finding the truth.

Breaking the Cycle with Mindful Eating — Tip 1: Identify Your Past

I've been diving into the work of psychologist Alfred Adler. He strongly believed that early childhood experiences and family dynamics shape our sense of self and how we cope with life. But what really resonates with me is that he also believed in self-empowerment and choice — that people can transform through self-awareness and intentional living.

What I mean is: there's value in identifying the insanities — the dysfunction — and discovering the reasons behind the decisions we make. There’s a time and place for that reflection. But its purpose isn't to stay there. Its purpose is to help you see what was flawed, so that you can become someone new.

The things that shaped us as kids definitely leave scars. But scars can heal. Which leads me to Tip #2.

Breaking the Cycle with Mindful Eating — Tip 2: Know What You Want Your Life Around Food to Look Like

This tip isn't about achieving your dream body. It's about how you think about food, how you look at food, and how you function around food.

For me, I see my relationship with food in three formats:

• My refrigerator

• My bank account

• My spreadsheet (I'm a total nerd 🤓)

I see food looking colorful. I see myself doing things other than eating. I’m homeschooling my children. I’m eating with my kids or sitting down with my family. I’m out in the garden, tending to the earth around me. I'm relaxing in a clean living room.

My bank account doesn’t question whether it can pay the bills — meaning, I’m not eating out all the time.

Food is part of the way I live my life by not being the center of it. It frees up my mind to do more — with my kids, with my business, in my learning, in being a better wife, in developing new skills.

Breaking the Cycle with Mindful Eating — Tip 3: Find Grace in Your Food Journey

Bitterness, anger, and resentment might spark change for a while, but they can also cause deep spiritual harm if left unchecked.

We all have insanities in our past — moments we need to accept and make peace with, even when it comes to food and how we were raised. When exploring your food culture, it’s important to look through eyes of grace, learning, and forgiveness.

Some things that shaped your current decisions may feel frustrating or even painful to recall. But grace — both for yourself and for others — opens a door to healing that bitterness and resentment never can.

Breaking the Cycle with Mindful Eating — Tip 4: Look for Opportunities to Break Old Habits and Form New Ones

As you live more intentionally, you’ll start noticing habits you no longer want to keep. When you spot one, ask yourself: "What do I want to do in this moment instead?"

For example: Maybe you come home from work, turn on your favorite show, and automatically reach for a bag of chips — even though you just finished dinner.

When you notice that automatic habit, pause and talk to yourself: "I don’t want to be like this anymore."

Then give yourself options:

• Maybe you still want to watch the show, but challenge yourself to do it without mindless munching.

• Maybe you realize a glass of water would satisfy you better.

• Maybe you do want an evening snack — but instead of eating from a bottomless bag, you grab a small bowl and enjoy a set amount.

Every small adjustment moves you closer to the life you want.

Breaking the Cycle with Mindful Eating — Tip 5: Give Yourself Grace, Time, and Seek Self-Awareness

Breaking the cycles with mindful eating and building new habits requires intentional living — and a different kind of work. It will take months to master new patterns, and that's normal.

Being hard on yourself for slipping up is an old dieting mentality. Instead, mindful eating invites something better:

• Noticing the mistake.

• Choosing a new idea or a better pathway next time.

That’s not punishment. That’s repentance — and repentance leads to real transformation.

Ready to take the first step toward mindful eating?

Breading the cycle with mindful eating isn’t about rigid rules — it’s about real healing. It’s about reconnecting with your body, your spirit, and your true hunger for life.

If you're ready to break free from the old cycles and build something new, join me at MindfullyEat.com. Let’s walk this journey together — with grace, with purpose, and with hope.